You ever heard of this band ?
Neither had I until, I received an anonymous death-threat on my desk demanding I listen to it….
Ofcourse death-threats are as common as a school yard bukkake, here at the offices of Dedderz.com, so naturally I threw it in the waste-bin along with all the other junk -- Lady Bananirvana’s severed head, a box of jizzed on Dolly Magazines and all the other Ded-Beatle Wanna-Bee Mix-Tapes that dare cross the desk in a bid to gain the 15-second attention of this handsome jerk-off reporter – who as of this moment is having a good ‘ol wank over his latest Dedderz.com review …. But get a load of this… !
Just as I was about to rip an enormous echoey fart thru-out the shitty slime-dripped hallways of the Dedderz Nightclub office… I noticed that the death-threat I had just discarded into the infamous Dedderz wastebin of throw-away hits, was starting to thrash about radically, smoking up…. and suddenly from out of the life-sized envelope appeared the band that I had always dreamed of seeing… they called themselves -
After realising I had shit my pants, I knew I was impressed by their performance… just moments before lead-singer of the FUK LASERZ, Sir Charlie Machine kicked me in the head with a force only seen in a Chuck Norris Drag Queen Infomercial…
So rest assured, the FUK LASERZ are on Dedderz’ Predictive Text Future Hit List, to be the next big thing in Parallel Oblivion… second to DEDDERZ offcourse….
Anyway, enough about me being a pussy… eat this out instead ! Here’s the FUK LASERZ’ debut single, that’s been leaked onto the DethGrid…. Its called, CYBORG ACADEMY. …
Sure to scare a few highschool head masters with this track… make sure to blast it in class tomorrow when u get back from the brain-transplant operation that you’re gonna need after hearing this little screamer … !
What are u waiting for…. ? DOWNLOAD IT HERE RIGHT NOW !!!!
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From the FukPad of FUCK OFF_LINE - Reporting from THE OFFLINE.